just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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