how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
