I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
"it" just moved
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize