does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
