Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
