We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize