It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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