rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
