i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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