Nicole vs. Life
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When are your genitals available?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
