So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
