even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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