idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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