I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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