Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize