Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
