i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
