After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
