I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
