Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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