What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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