she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
