return my video game
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
