maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
