I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All the doctor said was why
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
