If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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