Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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