So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
