Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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