went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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