There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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