I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
