She is in my trunk
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
