I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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