Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
