i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
