dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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