Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So drunk its hurt
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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