No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
