We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
