my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
