but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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