Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
