I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
