Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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