I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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