I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize