There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
