This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What a dumb baby whore.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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