his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
