She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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