Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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