if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You can't special order awesome
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
