oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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