dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
