just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
