Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We got so high we made milksteak
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
